Friday, July 4, 2008

Vive McDonalds!

Vive McDonalds!, originally uploaded by david_stirling.

As you can see from the photo, I have arrived safely and am enjoying all France has to offer. Namely, free internet at McDonalds. Gorgeous weather today, so I decided to go swimming at a municipal pool nearby. I was still a little messed up from jet lag and language shock, but I managed to pay my 2€60 to enter and made my way to the locker room. In order to extract the locker key, you have to place a coin inside the door and I couldn't figure it out. I asked a guy standing nearby and he explained that I was putting the coin in the coin return and he showed me the correct slot. Two boys nearby thought this was hilarious and watched me as I shut the locker and strutted out the door--to the lobby. So I turned back around and walked past the boys again, saying "this way, eh?" to which one responded "Yes, this way, sir! (hee hee)". I successfully navigated the shower area and found my way to the pool, at which point I had the following conversation, (translated liberally)...

Lifeguard: "Hey, you sir, you can't swim with those shorts"
Me: "With these shorts?"
Lifeguard: "Yes, you need a swimsuit"
Me: "But this is a swimsuit, look it's got a lining..."
Lifeguard: "No, you need a skintight suit"
Me: "A skintight suit? What..."
Lifeguard: "Unless I can see your figs, you cannot swim here."
Me: "But I..."
Lifeguard: "I must see figs!"
Me: "But..."
Lifeguard: "FIGS!"
Me: [walking fuming back into the locker room]
Two obnoxious kids: HA HA HA!

So now I need to go to a sporting goods store and find something that passes muster without offending my American sensibilities. Looks like I'll have an extra special souvenir to show off when I get back.


Alley Cat said...

DAVID: We want to know what women would have to wear to swim in that pool. How about a Nana-type who wants to wear a bathing suit with a skirt?

big cat said...

Dude the McDonald's tray is nice but this story calls for a side by side comparison of American and French bathing suits.